


A Real Human Being

by peacock_butterfly



Series: A Real Hero [3]
Category: Zombies Run!
Genre: Angst, Gen, Gender-Neutral Runner Five
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-11
Updated: 2018-05-11
Packaged: 2019-05-05 05:13:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14610150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peacock_butterfly/pseuds/peacock_butterfly
Summary: "Your body's too ragged / To cover your bones."Post-mission fic. I needed closure. Edited 17th Nov 2018 and it still made me cry.Major spoilers for S1 M19, and micro-spoilers for first episode of The Way Of All Flesh (no plot, just reference to the shenanigans from the opening minutes).





	A Real Human Being

**Author's Note:**

> Written (and ran) while listening to ["Dawn" by Arn Andersson (soundcloud link)](https://soundcloud.com/arn-andersson/dawn).

 

 

 

 

> “...what a nowhere way to go: killed by accident; slain not as an individual but by sheer statistical probability [...] Mathematics! Mathematics!”
> 
> (James Jones, ‘The Thin Red Line’)
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> The road was jagged  
>      Over sharp stones:  
>  Your body’s too ragged  
>      To cover your bones. [...]
> 
> Your race is ended—  
>      See, it is run:  
>  Nothing is mended  
>      Under the sun.
> 
> (Elinor Wylie, 'Fire and Sleet and Candlelight')
> 
>  

* * *

  


Runner Five ducks beneath the opening gate at a full on sprint, staggering into the quad and pitching forward onto their hands and knees, breathing in long ragged gasps, tears streaming from their eyes and nose. Their entire body is shaking. They collapse down into a ball, painfully aware of the weight of their backpack. “It’s not fair… It’s not  _ fair _ ...”   
  
“Runner Five!”   
  
Maxine is running out of the comms shack. The gate crew had begun to approach Five but they are hesitating. “It’s fine, I’ll take care of Five, get back to your positions,” Maxine assures them, and drops to her knees next to Five. “Do you want to see him?” she whispers urgently.    
  
Five nods, struggling to control themselves.   
  
“Come on then, quickly there’s not much time. Get up, come on.”   
  
Maxine helps them up. “I wasn't fast enough,” Five whispers. “I wanted him to see what I brought back...”   
  
“You were plenty fast enough,” says Maxine, firm and gentle.   
  
Five shakes their head, lost in their own context.    
  
“Yes you were. Five. Hey. Look at me. You heard him beating himself up. Please don't do the same thing. You know as well as I do how that feels to watch.” 

Five loses a second in Maxine’s eyes, and nods. “You’re right. I’ll try.”   
  
“By the way if you got bitten too, now is a really good time to tell me.”   
  
“I swear to you I didn’t get bitten.”   
  
“I’m taking that on trust this one and only time.”   
  
They arrive at the shack door and Maxine takes Five by the hand. Sam leaps to his feet inside but calms when he sees who it is. “Hey Five,” he says gently. His flushed face is streaked with tears. “Well... well done. Well done.”   
  
Five edges inside, led by Maxine, and slowly turns as Sam shuts the door.   
  
Runner Ten is lying on his back on the camp bed.   
  
“Oh... Oh god...” Five finds themselves moving towards him. His eyes are closed but rimmed with red. His skin has gone weirdly smooth and waxy. Sam and Maxine have straightened his limbs. His mouth is slightly open. 

Five releases their backpack from their shoulders, gently laying it down with its precious cargo, and crouches beside the bed. “Hey... Hey Chris, Runner Ten. McShell the Mathemagician.” Five puts their hand on his forehead. “Oh Chris I’m so sorry. God. I am so sorry.” They stroke his hair. “But listen to me. You were not stupid, okay? It broke my heart to hear you beating yourself up, I wish I could have held you and told you how much you were wrong. I’m sorry I wasn't fast enough to get back here in time, before... Look, I... Chris you did so much  _ good _ in this wreck of a world, you were... one of the most gentle, decent people I ever met, before or after, and my god I wish I could swing a hammer as well as you. And we will use all your research for good, I promise you.”   
  
Five moves closer and gently kisses Chris’ cool forehead.   
  
“Sleep well, Chris. Dream sweetly. We’ll all miss you very much, but you’re free now, from all this... You worked so hard, and you were strong, and brave, but you can sleep now, it’s okay, you can rest. You’ve earned it. And thank you... Thank you for everything.”   
  
Maxine and Sam have an arm around one another.

“That was beautiful Five…”

“Are you okay?” asks Sam.   
  
For a second, Five can’t move. Then they shake their head, and stand and turn, utterly losing their composure, and Sam and Maxine catch the distraught Runner in their arms.  
  
“What are we going to do now?” asks Sam presently as the embrace loosens, sniffing and wiping his nose on his sleeve. “He can't stay here, he got  _ bitten _ .”   
  
“He wanted to walk out of the gates on his own,” remembers Five tearfully.   
  
“Well that’s not an option now,” says Maxine. Her voice wavers. “But... logically, decapitation should prevent him from reanimating.”   
  
“Oh  _ god _ ...” breathes Five, as reality falls back in on the eulogy.   
  
Sam is less composed. “WHAT?! You’re going to cut Chris McShell’s head off?!”   
  
“Shhh! Chris is  _ dead _ , Sam. This is just his body. For now. In a half hour or so it will be another zombie that wants to eat us. It’s  _ not him _ . He’s not here, he’s gone. And we all know he would want us to do what we have to do, in order to be safe.” Dr Myers wipes her eyes. “So. You and Five go and get a stretcher. We’ll do it outside the walls, just in case it… well. If all goes well we’ll bring him back in and... break the news to everyone, and bury him properly. I’ll... tie his hands and feet just in case he-- I mean, it, reanimates faster than I expect. For god’s sake… for his sake… for the love we bear him, be  _ quick _ .”   
  
Five nods. “Okay. Maxine, I’m going to get Jody too. Does she know yet?”   
  
“No... Her cold was no better yesterday so she hasn't been out today. Don’t... don’t tell her yet.”   
  
Five’s stomach clenches. “No, I have to tell her. I have to. She and Chris have... they went through a lot together... If I'm fast enough she will be able to say goodbye too.”   
  
Maxine sighs. “Okay. I do think you’re right but we don’t have much time at all now. Go, run. Sam, go grab a sharp axe from the armoury, while Five gets Runner Four.”   
  
“I can’t believe this,” mutters Sam, but he nods.   
  
“Then you go get the stretcher with Five. Hurry, run, run!”   
  


* * *

  
Dorm 2 is empty except for Runner Four, who is lying on her front reading a comic book.    
  
“Four.”   
  
“Hey Five! What-- oh my god are you okay? What happened?”   
  
“Four listen, there's not much time. It’s bad. Something really bad has happened. But there is no time to argue about it so I, I need to you stay really calm and come with me, I’ll tell you on the way. Come on.”   
  
“Oh my god Five. What happened? You're still in kit, covered in mud, did you even get bite checked yet? Did something happen on your m--”   
  
“Jody. I’m so sorry. It’s... It’s Chris.”   
  
There is an awful pause. “... Chris?”   
  
“He was out alone doing research. And... there... there was a crawler he... he didn't see... and...”   
  
“No. No that’s not possible.”   
  
“Jody you have to keep moving. There is no time. Come with me now.”   
  
“He got... He didn’t get bit..?”   
  
“...He made it home. Told Maxine. Since you’re ill, he asked me to run out to his old house and pick up some stuff, for his daughter, before he... It should have been you, he asked for you... But there was no time. He was... If we hurry you can say goodbye before we... make it safe to bury him properly.”   
  
“He... he died...?”   
  
“I'm so sorry... Max and Sam were with him. He was... They were all on comms with me until the end. I was so nearly home... I didn’t make it in time to see him, he died just as I was running out of Coppice Wood.”   
  
“I don’t b... Not Chris. He is so... well he does tend to get absorbed a bit, when he’s out collecting data… but...”   
  
“Do you want to see him?”   
  
“But... No he can’t be dead...”    
  
“Okay just come with me, hold my hand. I’m so sorry this is all so fast, but we will both regret this if I don’t take you to him now. So I’m going to take you to see him, okay, then I’m going to get a stretcher with Sam. Come on, run!”   


* * *

  
The Runners arrive hand in hand. Five hammers on the door. “Maxie, it’s me. I've got Runner Four.”   
  
Maxine opens the door. “Good job. All quiet in here. Go and get that stretcher. Jody sweetheart... Take my hand. Be brave. Be brave now.”   
  
Jody moves into the comms shack like a sleeper in a dream. Five clenches their fists, and turns to run to the med tent.   
  
From behind them, there bursts a scream. Five bolts across the quad, in tears again, and comes to a halt at the med compound as Sam arrives at the fence with an axe held in both hands.    
  
“Was that...?”   
  
Five can only nod.   
  
Sam clenches the axe and kicks out at the fence post. “God... damn it. DAMN it. I HATE this! I hate this...”   
  
Five sniffs hugely, shaken up by Sam’s yell, and wipes their eyes. “Ok come on. Let’s... let’s at least let him rest as himself... not a monster... We can do that at least. Come on Sam... let's get him sorted out.”   
  
Five puts their hands on Sam’s shoulders and directs him into the med tent. The person on duty stops still as the two plunge into the tent, one carrying an axe and the other still in full running gear. The two of them pick up a stretcher and carry it out between them without a word.   
  
Back they go, clear across the quad to the comms booth. It’s crowded inside now, with four living and one dead. Jody is through the initial wave of shock and pain and is wrapped in a blanket, kneeling at the camp bed and holding Chris’ hand. Maxine has bound his arms to his sides, and tied his ankles together. 

  
“Is it just me,” murmurs Sam, “or is he... greyer?”   
  
Five nods. “Let’s get this over with. Did you tell her everything?”   
  
Maxine nods. “Jody sweetie are you sure?”   
  
Jody nods, adrift, her tears falling without actively crying, her voice calm and transparent. “Yeah. Yeah I want to come with ye’s. I want to help.”    
  
“You’re still in shock, so keep that blanket around you and take it nice and easy. Five, Sam, help me.”   
  
They rearrange themselves in the shack, and get the stretcher laid out on the floor. The three of them lift the body off the camp bed and onto the stretcher. He’s still completely stiff, and surprisingly heavy. “Did he void yet?” asks Five bluntly.   
  
“No,” replies Maxine. “That usually happens right before they turn. Okay. Let’s get him outside. Are we clear?”   
  
Sam leans across Five and consults his desk. “Uhh let’s see... Yeah, as luck would have it, it’s all quiet out there. But we shouldn't go far. They will... They’ll smell it. And also there’s some people starting to gather inside.”   
  
“We must look a bit wild,” comments Five.    
  
“Let’s go,” says Maxine again, crouching to strap the body to the stretcher. “We can explain everything once this is done. I refuse to let him return as a monster, I want to remember him like this, not like... that...”   
  
The other three nod. Jody disobeys Maxine’s orders to lie her blanket over Chris’ body, leaving his head exposed, “So he can feel the sunlight...”   
  
They take an arm of the stretcher each, and set off. The axe is resting beside the body.   
  
“Raise the gates,” calls Sam, out loud. The gate crew seem to have come to a conclusion on their own that isn't too far from the truth, and they obey without asking further questions. Runner Twenty-One, from the sniper perch, looks down and cries out. “Oh no! Oh my god, no! What are you doing?”   
  
“You have to stay up there!” yells Sam, as the four of them jog gently out of the township walls and head around the corner to the west. “It’s not safe! Give us ten minutes! Cover us!”   
  
Out of sight of the gates, Maxine slows, and they place the stretcher down on the grass. Early evening sunlight is pouring over the field, and the breeze whispers through the patch of trees further down the slope. Insects dive over the long grass. Somewhere in the trees, a blackbird is singing. For a tiny moment, the Earth is just the Earth, just a green field on an island called England on a warm spring evening, not a zombie-infested wilderness in the end times of human civilization. 

They gently lay him down on the grass, feet to the wall, head to the sinking sun.   
  
“So who’s going to... um...” begins Sam, then trails off, putting his fist to his mouth and biting on the cuff of his jumper.   
  
Maxine, Jody and Five look at one another. “Can I do it?” says Jody, very softly.    
  
Five is relieved. Maxine lets out a breath, and nods. She passes Jody the axe. “Five, you and I will take the blanket and catch the head. He has been dead for forty-five minutes now, there shouldn’t be too much blood.”    
  
“It’s okay, I’m not scared.” Jody hefts the axe, rolling her shoulders, still eerily calm.   
  
Maxine takes the blanket from Chris’ body and remains crouched for a second. “Jody, aim here, with all your strength. Hold the axe handle near the end, you’ll have greater force. Last words, everyone. Quickly.” She touches Chris’ cheek. “Runner Ten, Chris McShell, we salute you, we honour you, and we love you very much. Rest well. You... did good work. It will not be in vain.”   
  
“See you, Chris,” whispers Five. “We will find Veronica. And when we meet again in the hereafter I’m expecting a full statistical analysis of my performance. Graphs and everything. I’ll bring you some wine gums.”   
  
“Runner Ten... I... I was your biggest fan. I thought killing 387 zombies— wait, plus that pack with Five last week makes… makes… oh must be over four hundred or something I don’t know, I don’t know! I have actually lost count. Anyway um. I thought you were so  _ cool _ . And you were always so shy about it. I thought that made you even cooler. I mean. Your work was incredible, I just wish I understood it. I mean, don't worry, I’ll be studying it like, really hard now. Now that you’re... gone...” Sam is struggling. “I don’t... I mean. I mean, I let you down, I... I should have seen that crawler... I didn't keep you safe… and I’m… I’m so sorry… So s... So I promise, Chris, for your sake, to study your research until I understand it, and I promise to use it to be the best radio operator I can be. I p-promise you I’ll use your research to save... to keep people safe. You’re a  _ legend _ ...”

Maxine gasps. “Oh god. Be quick, Jody, I just saw… He’s… he twitched. It’s happening. Jody! Now!”

“Oh Chris. It’s such a beautiful day. Here goes.” 

And Jody raises the axe high over her head. It catches the light, a shard of silver reflection in the bright haze of the day, then Jody brings it sailing down with all the force of her grief, the force of her determination, and the force of her trained, athletic body, and there is a dull, wet thud and sucking sound, and Sam groans and hides his face in his hands, and Five swoops in with Maxine as his head separates cleanly from his neck and rolls gently into the waiting blanket. “Gotchya,” says Maxine gently. “Well  _ done _ Jody, well done… We got you Chris, it’s okay, it’s okay you’re safe now. You're safe... you did it... you saved him… He’s safe now it’s okay. It’s okay… oh god… that was so close… oh  _ god _ ...”

Jody drops to her knees, still not crying, and yanks the axe blade out from the grass, lays it down, and crawls over. “Let me hold him, just for a minute.”   
  
Sam drops to the grass beside Five, pale and trembling.

Unable to keep her tears in check now the timer has stopped ticking, Maxine takes Chris’ severed head up in the blanket, balling it up underneath to soak up any infected blood, and gives him to Jody. Runner Four cradles him in her lap with her legs crossed, stroking his hair, looking out down the hill and talking to him softly.

“Yesterday I was listening to them old field recordings of yours from our Agatha Christie adventure you know, Chris. I couldn’t go out, doctor’s orders, and I was bored, so I snuck into your dorm and nicked the tapes out of your box. Sorry… I know I should have asked. I was listening to the bit on tape 400 where I was swearing my head off at you, when we got surrounded near the manor house. And listening to it, I had to laugh, partly because it’s always weird listening to your own voice isn’t it, and partly like, even though I sounded terrified, listening to it was somehow… aw it was really funny.” Jody laughs slightly. “I was laughing so much listening to it. But I remember I was terrified, like completely one hundred percent convinced I was actually going to die, just for counting zombies to help you with some  _ sums _ , and I was so  _ angry _ with you. I didn’t want to die for maths homework! And you were just like, completely cool, going, ‘Oo that one has no nose. No the east is fine, that’s wrong there shouldn’t be zombies there. That’s wrong. Oh how interesting, yes I see what’s happened.’ You’re such a… a giant  _ nerd _ !” She laughs again. “Remember? I had to  _ drag _ you away from the  _ three _ hoards that were converging on us, there were  _ hundreds _ of them, and you  _ still _ kept looking back to count the faster ones. You were… Yeah. I’ll remember that. You’re always so calm. Always so positive. Focused.” She puts a little kiss on the top of his head. “Aw Chris I’m really glad you’re still you. I’m sorry we had to cut your head off, I really am, but... I know you understand. You understand  _ everything _ .”

“What a world… Is this normal now?” Maxine sits on Five’s other side. “Jody’s talking to a head. Chris McShell’s head. And I’m actually  _ glad _ . I don’t even think it’s weird. I think it’s… it’s… some… some kind of beautiful...”

Five puts an arm around her, and looks up and back. A small, solemn crowd is gathering outside the gates near the corner of the wall, the guards covering with their rifles. There are people all along the top of the wall too, watching.

“And it’s such a lovely day...” murmurs Sam blankly, as the blackbird sings out again and the bright wind whips through their hair. “Such a lovely day...”

**Author's Note:**

> This mission utterly destroyed me. I couldn’t just leave him there, and I felt so guilty it was Five not Four who went, and I couldn't deal with the though of him turning. Somehow this version is easier for me to accept. 
> 
> College/Electric Youth's "A Real Hero" always makes me remember Runner Ten.


End file.
